flashback. reality

i used to love him.

from the very first day i know he was something special,

never in a rush for making this new found relationship

we took things slow, let me write every emotion

every feeling, every moment that relates to you.

to the bleeding ink pens of momentary feelings.

i got high, and i reached to the very peaks of emotion

that i felt was " true love " .

and because words were what kept us going

you and i would write,

lingering at a young age, it was a teenage love affair.

only the both of us knew this puppy love had developed

the distance never was the problem.

from the very voice i knew who you were.

till the snores reached my ear drums,

i'd kiss you goodnight through the phone.

you see, we spent moments on couches

watching movie, after movie in each others arms.

we'd lie awake staring right back at each other in awe,

i've never felt like this before.

and to the core, my whole being was yours.

you unlocked the door and broke down barries

and you saw a side of me no ones seen before

i trusted you, i loved you . i found you .

then i realized 3 years and months later,

that trust was broken, and the bond that we had was shaken

shaken up a million times to find my heart in a bind.

could this be the end of us?

how was i to believe that you weren't in love with me?

no more i love you through the phone,

from the other side was a demon who i didn't know.

with hurtful words, that even till this day pierces my soul.

i loved you with everything, but words broke me down

hearing un heard of accuations, blaming me for us breaking?

i was confused, i did all i could to show you that i loved you.

my foolishness had me crying,

all night and day not a phone call or message,

i would do anything possible to make my way back to you

yet, there was no way for me to get in.

i have appoligized a million of times,

yet, you called it lies , lies lies..

mama walks in and tells me not to cry, not over a guy.

since i know my mama is strong, and still holding on.

i didn't want to be used, i didn't want to look like a fool .

so i wiped my tears and i smiled, he lost the one that loved him soul.

why should i sit here and whep over that guy,

and little did i know someone was there standing by.

not a tear in my eye, i thank god for helping me realize.

that yes, love is the answer, but if he doesn't love you like you love him

your souls will not reach the same peak,

the amount of love that you give to him will never amount

to what someone else is capable of giving back to you.

and i let him go, for good.